Change. We manage it, we lead it, we drive it. But how do we survive it?
Even minor disruptions to our plans and expectations can set off a chain reaction (or a change reaction?) in our minds. Yesterday I went from ‘the client has moved the session’ 🤔 to ‘my whole business model is unsustainable’ 😱 in a matter of minutes. And breathe.
To make it harder, we all have different responses, shaped by who we are and where we happen to be when a change hits. So ‘managing change’ for a group can feel like juggling fifteen different balls and probably dropping them all at some point or another. Oh, you like to have as much information as possible even if it’s uncertain. Oh, you prefer only to talk about it in 1:1. Oh, you need more time to adjust. Oh, you want to get moving straight away because more waiting just makes you anxious. Oh, you wanted to be consulted more. Oh, you wanted less talking and more doing. Oh, you’ve already made the change and are frustrated with everyone dragging their heals. It often feels like we just can’t win🥴.
Catching myself catastrophising yesterday reminded me that what feels like a small change for one person can hit another in a completely different way. I still remember leading an office move (pre-pandemic) and being amazed by how worked up people got about their desks. I just wasn’t bothered about whether I could sit in the same place every day or have my favourite nick-nacks on display, but for some of the team it felt like a huge disruption that needed airtime, attention and understanding.
Whatever the change is that you’re managing, leading, driving or just trying to survive, here are I few things that can help:
🙊 Give people their say. Even if they can’t change things (and if they can’t then make that clear), it still helps if people can be given the opportunity to talk about what’s coming, to voice their fears, disagreements or concerns. Allow questions even if you don’t know the answers (and be as honest as you can when that’s the case).
🙉 Listen to understand. There’s little point allowing people to talk if you then don’t listen, or, maybe worse, listen only to win or to fix. So, when someone raises an issue, instead of trying to soothe it away, just allow it to be. “I can see that this is concerning you and that it’s unsettling” rather than “Don’t worry, it’ll all be ok because…” This can take a lot of self control, as managers it usually is our job to ‘fix’ things. We jump automatically to solutions, when sometimes all that’s really wanted is acknowledgment of the impact.
🙈 Make an effort to see the world through the eyes of others. Don’t assume they’ll have the same perspective as you. Instead, get curious and create space for all sorts of different takes on what’s happening. It can be tricky here to allow viewpoints to be expressed without judging or ‘correcting’ them, especially when emotions (and conspiracy theories) run high. Try speaking unarguably, that is, only in terms of the facts of the matter. So instead of “we’ve done all we can to consult people” describe what has been done to consult people.
None of this will be new to you, but sometimes it’s worth taking a breath and reminding ourselves of the basics.
