{"id":2511,"date":"2024-12-04T17:41:33","date_gmt":"2024-12-04T17:41:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/website_9e304ce3\/?p=2511"},"modified":"2025-05-28T13:51:07","modified_gmt":"2025-05-28T13:51:07","slug":"face-the-music","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/es\/face-the-music\/","title":{"rendered":"Face the music"},"content":{"rendered":"<p id=\"ember16205\" class=\"\">I\u2019ve always loved singing. I\u2019m not particularly talented, I just enjoy the feeling. That\u2019s why karaoke on my sister\u2019s birthday was a blast. We belted out songs together. Classics that our Dad used to play, taking the guitar out of my hands when I supposed to be practising my chords. House of the Rising Sun, etc. You get the picture. And we were amazing. Or so I thought. Until someone sent a video round the next day. \ud83d\ude33<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"ember16206\" class=\"\">And that\u2019s a bit what feedback is like. You think you\u2019re doing OK &#8211; well, even &#8211; and then someone bursts your bubble. It hurts. It brings shame and regret. And sometimes I wonder if it\u2019s worth the pain. &nbsp;Is it just coincidence that the word is also used to describe the fearsome noise that comes out of the speakers when the mic gets too close?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"ember16207\" class=\"\">I know we\u2019re all supposed to love feedback because it\u2019s the key to improvement: \u2018Tell me what I could have done better? Help me understand if I\u2019m having the impact I want to have\u2019. But that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s easy and it doesn\u2019t always make it true either. Feedback is just another person\u2019s perspective and while that\u2019s interesting &#8211; and is clearly their truth &#8211; it doesn\u2019t automatically need to be yours. At karaoke, the night-before Claudine was a singer having a great time, but the next-day Claudine was just embarrassed. I know which perspective I want to keep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"ember16208\" class=\"\">But I also know that feedback can be transformative, and I really do want to understand the perspective of others and to increase my chances of lining up my intentions and my impact. So here are a few reflections on things that might help:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li class=\"\">\ud83d\udcfdSlow things down. There are a few classic immediate reactions we have to getting negative feedback: we reject the feedback itself (\u201cNo, I didn\u2019t\u201d); we challenge the legitimacy of the person giving it (\u201cYou don\u2019t know\u201d); or \u2013 my personal favourite \u2013 we switch it back on them (\u201cWell, I may not have emptied the dishwasher but you never take the rubbish out\u201d). In these moments try to switch to slow-mo and watch your reaction. If you can, stop it in its tracks. One way to do this, to give yourself time to digest rather than react, is just to have fixed response of gratitude \u2013 \u201cThanks for the feedback, that\u2019s really interesting and I\u2019m grateful you told me\u201d. And if you\u2019re brave: \u201cTell me more\u201d. You can decide what you really think later.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"\">\ud83d\udca1Extract the data. Feedback is information from a new perspective and that is always fascinating. Some of the toughest feedback I\u2019ve received in my career challenged my sense of myself, but it also gave me insight into those around me \u2013 it helped me understand the person who gave me the feedback and brought new insight into the system I was operating in. It was like a new light being switched on, not just shining on me but all around. \u00a0This is important when you\u2019re giving feedback, too \u2013 ask yourself, \u2018What does this feedback say about me?\u2019<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"\">\ud83c\udfb0Be careful of formulas. There are some \u2018feedback tips\u2019 that I love \u2013 like always starting the conversation with the person\u2019s own reflections on how things went, rather than with yours, or making sure you have regular feedback calls scheduled in so that things can be shared when they\u2019re fresh. But there are others I\u2019ve come to be quite suspicious of \u2013 the feedback \u2018sandwich\u2019 or ratio where you try to offset one piece of negative feedback with multiple positive pieces \u2013 if someone sneaks a jalape\u00f1o into my sandwich I can taste it straight away. And it just ruined my lunch.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"ember16211\" class=\"\">I still struggle with feedback, partly because I think it plays into a world view where we all have to be brilliant at everything in exactly the same way, and I want to be in places where the joy, beauty and impact lies in how we are different and imperfect. So I\u2019m going to take singing classes. I\u2019m also going to ban videos at the next karaoke.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Can I give you some feedback?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\ud83d\ude28 Oh no. What now? <\/p>\n<p>\ud83d\ude32 Sometimes it&#8217;s a shock. <\/p>\n<p>\ud83d\ude22 Sometimes it just hurts. <\/p>\n<p>Reflections on the pain and shame of feedback&#8230;and ways to make it just that little bit easier. <\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2512,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36,26],"tags":[14,53,16],"class_list":["post-2511","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-resources","tag-change","tag-giving-and-receiving-feedback","tag-mindset"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Face the music - CMJ Strategies<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/es\/face-the-music\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_ES\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Face the music - CMJ Strategies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&quot;Can I give you some feedback?&quot; \ud83d\ude28 Oh no. 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