{"id":6484,"date":"2025-09-15T14:43:05","date_gmt":"2025-09-15T14:43:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/?p=6484"},"modified":"2026-01-13T16:28:05","modified_gmt":"2026-01-13T16:28:05","slug":"ask-me-to-dance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/es\/ask-me-to-dance\/","title":{"rendered":"Ask me to dance"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"\">I was dazzled. Aged just 15, working at a real theatre. Getting up every day for two weeks and taking the train from Wembley to Sloane Square \u2013 Sloane Square! \u2013 to help backstage at the Royal Court. It was the stuff that dreams are made of and to this day, I\u2019m grateful that my school had a partnership that made those two weeks of GSCE work experience possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">My family didn\u2019t have contacts that would have got me something like this. My parents were handbag-makers. They may have sold their (rather beautiful) leather bags to shops round the corner from the Royal Court, but that wasn\u2019t going to open any professional doors for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Work experience is supposed to show young people the realities and demands of having a \u2018real job\u2019. It should give you an insight into a bunch of things that aren\u2019t really on the curriculum. The importance of showing up on time, taking responsibility and initiative, developing those \u2018soft skills\u2019 of self-presentation and interaction, which, for some of us, &nbsp;aren\u2019t an automatic thing that we see role modeled in what\u2019s going on at home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">But in truth, much of this wasn\u2019t really news to me. I already had a Saturday job in a local video store. Two pounds an hour to rent out videos, manage stock, cash-up and even lock up at 11pm (don\u2019t worry, my Dad used to walk the dog down and wait outside to make sure I was safe). Looking back, I\u2019m not sure how legal it all was, but I loved it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">So what did I get from that fairy-tale experience, apart from meeting the famous people who were in the play?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">I learned not to always take my boss at their word. And I learned about regret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Let me explain. I was working backstage making props for the show, but as is often the case with work experience, they weren\u2019t really prepared for me and for the first few days there wasn\u2019t much to do. I found things to work on \u2013 including a task I will never forget, which was getting a new address book and making it look old enough to be a convincing prop in the play. Think tea-bag stains and hours spent writing in addresses. Who knew?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Eventually my supervisor said that I may as well not come in for a few days because there wasn\u2019t anything else to do. I was disappointed but I did as they said. The whole experience ended on more of a high as then dress rehearsals started and we all pitched in. On the very last day I made more of a personal connection with the rest of the backstage team, and it was so wonderful to really feel part of something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Then I got my evaluation report. Although my work had been recognised, one biting bit of feedback was that my attendance hadn\u2019t been 100%. My heart sank. There was no right to reply or to explain. That\u2019s just what was sent to my school. And I was gutted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">That learning struck deep. Ever since then, &nbsp;I\u2019ve been inclined to question what will happen if I just do what my boss suggests. I learned to decide for myself. I\u2019ve also tried not to hang back and wait to be invited into the group, because you might just run out of time and that\u2019s such a shame. My heart still sinks 35 years later when I think about how I wasted all that time sitting quietly on my own, filling in the address book, &nbsp;instead of meeting and building relationships with the others. I thought I was being a good girl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">I think it also shaped how I lead. I became much more conscious of inviting others in \u2013 something that\u2019s so important for genuine inclusion. As they say, you don\u2019t just get someone to come to the party, you also need to ask them to dance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">This post was sparked by the things I\u2019ve been noticing in the leaders I coach who come from less traditional backgrounds in their fields. Those who have \u201cmade it\u201d but who perhaps feel like they still don\u2019t quite belong, or that they need to <a href=\"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/do-you-see-me\/\">work harder to understand a set of unwritten rules<\/a> that seem clearer to everyone else. Those for whom the ambition to succeed \u2013 and indeed the fear of loss \u2013 is somehow freighted with additional expectations because they\u2019ve come so far.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">I\u2019d love to hear from you if this resonates with your experience.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Don&#8217;t just invite people to the party. You also need to ask them to dance. Regrets from long time ago about not making the most of an amazing opportunity<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6485,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[8,9,16],"class_list":["post-6484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-coaching","tag-leadership","tag-mindset"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Ask me to dance - CMJ Strategies<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/es\/ask-me-to-dance\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_ES\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ask me to dance - CMJ Strategies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Don&#039;t just invite people to the party. 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