{"id":7377,"date":"2026-01-19T10:54:02","date_gmt":"2026-01-19T10:54:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/?p=7377"},"modified":"2026-01-19T10:55:24","modified_gmt":"2026-01-19T10:55:24","slug":"after-the-event","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/es\/after-the-event\/","title":{"rendered":"After the event"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cDo you need a standing ovation to know you\u2019ve done a good job?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had come out of a high-stakes, day long meeting and was fretting over whether it had gone well. All the participants said it had. The feedback at the end of the day was glowing \u2013 it had exceeded expectations. And yet\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My brain, as usual went into overdrive the minute I was out the door: Why hadn\u2019t I done this? Why on earth had I said that<\/em>? And what about all my plans for x, y, z, that had gone clean out of my head the minute we started? Disaster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so it began: the re-writing of history, the whataboutery of missed opportunity and the ever so exhausting postmortem of every step until the final story is not one of exceeded expectations but of near total failure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My husband\u2019s question as he tried to talk me down from my perch of doom on the train home was a good one. What would I need to be convinced that the thing had gone well? Would I ever believe it, or was it safer here in my cave of self-criticism, because at least here I wouldn\u2019t get complacent or too big for my boots? At least here, no-one could hurt me (well, not more than I was already hurting myself).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I once read that one of the defining features of being an extrovert \u2013 of thinking out loud and getting your energy from debate and interaction with others \u2013 is that we tend to then regret what we\u2019ve \u2018blurted out\u2019.  I certainly recognise this in myself.  Another thing I notice is that when I\u2019m in full flow, I\u2019m not particularly conscious of what I\u2019m doing \u2013 it\u2019s like I\u2019m on autopilot. This is all well and good if you can trust the navigation system, but what if there are things about it that you want to shift (like listening more or having the courage to challenge)? You\u2019re in your grove and all good intentions seem to fall by the wayside, leaving only regret when you wake from the dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So on that train home I did what I\u2019ve worked out with my coach is one good way to calm my critical mind: I went back to the list I had made myself before the event of my minimum expectations. These are the absolute essentials that I define beforehand, the critical things that I will hold myself accountable for on this day. And I wrote it down (because writing does make it more real than just thinking it):<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2705Had I been on time and run to schedule? Check<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2705Had I created a space where everyone could contribute? Check<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2705Had I listened well? Check<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2705Had I worked in service of the team and their goals? Check<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2705Had it been stimulating, interesting and fun? Check, check, check<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No, it hadn\u2019t been perfect. I had missed things and looking back now I had new ideas about what I might have done in response to certain comments or moments. But I decide to accept what is, not just because I don\u2019t have a time machine, but because it\u2019s all learning. And I recognise that it\u2019s not all down to me and that there aren\u2019t any \u2018right answers\u2019 anyway. Maybe I could have been more challenging, but maybe the group wasn\u2019t ready for it. Maybe I could have run things differently, but maybe then I would have regretted not doing the things we did do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having my minimum expectations grounds me while also allowing the learning to come through with a sense of possibility for the future, not as stick to beat myself with. Next time I can incorporate the \u2018even better ifs\u2019 into my list before we start. \ud83d\udcc8<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Assuming we\u2019re not going to start giving each other standing ovations at the end of our meetings, what do you do to help yourself recognise the good and not over think it?<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cDo you need a standing ovation to know you\u2019ve done a good job?\u201d I had come out of a high-stakes, day long meeting and was fretting over whether it had gone well. All the participants said it had. The feedback at the end of the day was glowing \u2013 it had exceeded expectations. And yet\u2026 My brain, as usual went into overdrive the minute I was out the door: Why hadn\u2019t I done this? Why on earth had I said that? And what about all my plans for x, y, z, that had gone clean out of my head the minute we started? Disaster. And so it began: the re-writing of history, the whataboutery of missed opportunity and the ever so exhausting postmortem of every step until the final story is not one of exceeded expectations but of near total failure. My husband\u2019s question as he tried to talk me down from my perch of doom on the train home was a good one. What would I need to be convinced that the thing had gone well? Would I ever believe it, or was it safer here in my cave of self-criticism, because at least here I wouldn\u2019t get complacent or too big for my boots? At least here, no-one could hurt me (well, not more than I was already hurting myself). I once read that one of the defining features of being an extrovert \u2013 of thinking out loud and getting your energy from debate and interaction with others \u2013 is that we tend to then regret what we\u2019ve \u2018blurted out\u2019.  I certainly recognise this in myself.  Another thing I notice is that when I\u2019m in full flow, I\u2019m not particularly conscious of what I\u2019m doing \u2013 it\u2019s like I\u2019m on autopilot. This is all well and good if you can trust the navigation system, but what if there are things about it that you want to shift (like listening more or having the courage to challenge)? You\u2019re in your grove and all good intentions seem to fall by the wayside, leaving only regret when you wake from the dream. So on that train home I did what I\u2019ve worked out with my coach is one good way to calm my critical mind: I went back to the list I had made myself before the event of my minimum expectations. These are the absolute essentials that I define beforehand, the critical things that I will hold myself accountable for on this day. And I wrote it down (because writing does make it more real than just thinking it): \u2705Had I been on time and run to schedule? Check \u2705Had I created a space where everyone could contribute? Check \u2705Had I listened well? Check \u2705Had I worked in service of the team and their goals? Check \u2705Had it been stimulating, interesting and fun? Check, check, check No, it hadn\u2019t been perfect. I had missed things and looking back now I had new ideas about what I might have done in response to certain comments or moments. But I decide to accept what is, not just because I don\u2019t have a time machine, but because it\u2019s all learning. And I recognise that it\u2019s not all down to me and that there aren\u2019t any \u2018right answers\u2019 anyway. Maybe I could have been more challenging, but maybe the group wasn\u2019t ready for it. Maybe I could have run things differently, but maybe then I would have regretted not doing the things we did do. Having my minimum expectations grounds me while also allowing the learning to come through with a sense of possibility for the future, not as stick to beat myself with. Next time I can incorporate the \u2018even better ifs\u2019 into my list before we start. \ud83d\udcc8 Assuming we\u2019re not going to start giving each other standing ovations at the end of our meetings, what do you do to help yourself recognise the good and not over think it?<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7378,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[8,16],"class_list":["post-7377","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-coaching","tag-mindset"],"yoast_head":"\nAfter the event - CMJ Strategies<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/es\/after-the-event\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_ES\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"After the event - CMJ Strategies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cDo you need a standing ovation to know you\u2019ve done a good job?\u201d I had come out of a high-stakes, day long meeting and was fretting over whether it had gone well. All the participants said it had. The feedback at the end of the day was glowing \u2013 it had exceeded expectations. And yet\u2026 My brain, as usual went into overdrive the minute I was out the door: Why hadn\u2019t I done this? Why on earth had I said that? And what about all my plans for x, y, z, that had gone clean out of my head the minute we started? Disaster. And so it began: the re-writing of history, the whataboutery of missed opportunity and the ever so exhausting postmortem of every step until the final story is not one of exceeded expectations but of near total failure. My husband\u2019s question as he tried to talk me down from my perch of doom on the train home was a good one. What would I need to be convinced that the thing had gone well? Would I ever believe it, or was it safer here in my cave of self-criticism, because at least here I wouldn\u2019t get complacent or too big for my boots? At least here, no-one could hurt me (well, not more than I was already hurting myself). I once read that one of the defining features of being an extrovert \u2013 of thinking out loud and getting your energy from debate and interaction with others \u2013 is that we tend to then regret what we\u2019ve \u2018blurted out\u2019.  I certainly recognise this in myself.  Another thing I notice is that when I\u2019m in full flow, I\u2019m not particularly conscious of what I\u2019m doing \u2013 it\u2019s like I\u2019m on autopilot. This is all well and good if you can trust the navigation system, but what if there are things about it that you want to shift (like listening more or having the courage to challenge)? You\u2019re in your grove and all good intentions seem to fall by the wayside, leaving only regret when you wake from the dream. So on that train home I did what I\u2019ve worked out with my coach is one good way to calm my critical mind: I went back to the list I had made myself before the event of my minimum expectations. These are the absolute essentials that I define beforehand, the critical things that I will hold myself accountable for on this day. And I wrote it down (because writing does make it more real than just thinking it): \u2705Had I been on time and run to schedule? Check \u2705Had I created a space where everyone could contribute? Check \u2705Had I listened well? Check \u2705Had I worked in service of the team and their goals? Check \u2705Had it been stimulating, interesting and fun? Check, check, check No, it hadn\u2019t been perfect. I had missed things and looking back now I had new ideas about what I might have done in response to certain comments or moments. But I decide to accept what is, not just because I don\u2019t have a time machine, but because it\u2019s all learning. And I recognise that it\u2019s not all down to me and that there aren\u2019t any \u2018right answers\u2019 anyway. Maybe I could have been more challenging, but maybe the group wasn\u2019t ready for it. Maybe I could have run things differently, but maybe then I would have regretted not doing the things we did do. Having my minimum expectations grounds me while also allowing the learning to come through with a sense of possibility for the future, not as stick to beat myself with. Next time I can incorporate the \u2018even better ifs\u2019 into my list before we start. \ud83d\udcc8 Assuming we\u2019re not going to start giving each other standing ovations at the end of our meetings, what do you do to help yourself recognise the good and not over think it?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/es\/after-the-event\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"CMJ Strategies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-01-19T10:54:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-01-19T10:55:24+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/np_Successful-multiracial-businesspeople-cheering-raising-hands_41lpRL_free.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"548\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"365\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"CMENASHEJONES\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Escrito por\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"CMENASHEJONES\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Tiempo de lectura\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutos\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cmjstrategies.com\\\/after-the-event\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cmjstrategies.com\\\/after-the-event\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"CMENASHEJONES\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cmjstrategies.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/6035b56e92559fdf676055bd3ed5e4bd\"},\"headline\":\"After the event\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-01-19T10:54:02+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-01-19T10:55:24+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cmjstrategies.com\\\/after-the-event\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":677,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cmjstrategies.com\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cmjstrategies.com\\\/after-the-event\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/cmjstrategies.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/01\\\/np_Successful-multiracial-businesspeople-cheering-raising-hands_41lpRL_free.jpg?fit=548%2C365&ssl=1\",\"keywords\":[\"coaching\",\"mindset\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Blog\"],\"inLanguage\":\"es\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cmjstrategies.com\\\/after-the-event\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/cmjstrategies.com\\\/after-the-event\\\/\",\"name\":\"After the event - 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CMJ Strategies","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/es\/after-the-event\/","og_locale":"es_ES","og_type":"article","og_title":"After the event - CMJ Strategies","og_description":"\u201cDo you need a standing ovation to know you\u2019ve done a good job?\u201d I had come out of a high-stakes, day long meeting and was fretting over whether it had gone well. All the participants said it had. The feedback at the end of the day was glowing \u2013 it had exceeded expectations. And yet\u2026 My brain, as usual went into overdrive the minute I was out the door: Why hadn\u2019t I done this? Why on earth had I said that? And what about all my plans for x, y, z, that had gone clean out of my head the minute we started? Disaster. And so it began: the re-writing of history, the whataboutery of missed opportunity and the ever so exhausting postmortem of every step until the final story is not one of exceeded expectations but of near total failure. My husband\u2019s question as he tried to talk me down from my perch of doom on the train home was a good one. What would I need to be convinced that the thing had gone well? Would I ever believe it, or was it safer here in my cave of self-criticism, because at least here I wouldn\u2019t get complacent or too big for my boots? At least here, no-one could hurt me (well, not more than I was already hurting myself). I once read that one of the defining features of being an extrovert \u2013 of thinking out loud and getting your energy from debate and interaction with others \u2013 is that we tend to then regret what we\u2019ve \u2018blurted out\u2019.  I certainly recognise this in myself.  Another thing I notice is that when I\u2019m in full flow, I\u2019m not particularly conscious of what I\u2019m doing \u2013 it\u2019s like I\u2019m on autopilot. This is all well and good if you can trust the navigation system, but what if there are things about it that you want to shift (like listening more or having the courage to challenge)? You\u2019re in your grove and all good intentions seem to fall by the wayside, leaving only regret when you wake from the dream. So on that train home I did what I\u2019ve worked out with my coach is one good way to calm my critical mind: I went back to the list I had made myself before the event of my minimum expectations. These are the absolute essentials that I define beforehand, the critical things that I will hold myself accountable for on this day. And I wrote it down (because writing does make it more real than just thinking it): \u2705Had I been on time and run to schedule? Check \u2705Had I created a space where everyone could contribute? Check \u2705Had I listened well? Check \u2705Had I worked in service of the team and their goals? Check \u2705Had it been stimulating, interesting and fun? Check, check, check No, it hadn\u2019t been perfect. I had missed things and looking back now I had new ideas about what I might have done in response to certain comments or moments. But I decide to accept what is, not just because I don\u2019t have a time machine, but because it\u2019s all learning. And I recognise that it\u2019s not all down to me and that there aren\u2019t any \u2018right answers\u2019 anyway. Maybe I could have been more challenging, but maybe the group wasn\u2019t ready for it. Maybe I could have run things differently, but maybe then I would have regretted not doing the things we did do. Having my minimum expectations grounds me while also allowing the learning to come through with a sense of possibility for the future, not as stick to beat myself with. Next time I can incorporate the \u2018even better ifs\u2019 into my list before we start. \ud83d\udcc8 Assuming we\u2019re not going to start giving each other standing ovations at the end of our meetings, what do you do to help yourself recognise the good and not over think it?","og_url":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/es\/after-the-event\/","og_site_name":"CMJ Strategies","article_published_time":"2026-01-19T10:54:02+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-01-19T10:55:24+00:00","og_image":[{"width":548,"height":365,"url":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/np_Successful-multiracial-businesspeople-cheering-raising-hands_41lpRL_free.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"CMENASHEJONES","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Escrito por":"CMENASHEJONES","Tiempo de lectura":"4 minutos"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/after-the-event\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/after-the-event\/"},"author":{"name":"CMENASHEJONES","@id":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6035b56e92559fdf676055bd3ed5e4bd"},"headline":"After the event","datePublished":"2026-01-19T10:54:02+00:00","dateModified":"2026-01-19T10:55:24+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/after-the-event\/"},"wordCount":677,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/after-the-event\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cmjstrategies.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/np_Successful-multiracial-businesspeople-cheering-raising-hands_41lpRL_free.jpg?fit=548%2C365&ssl=1","keywords":["coaching","mindset"],"articleSection":["Blog"],"inLanguage":"es"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/after-the-event\/","url":"https:\/\/cmjstrategies.com\/after-the-event\/","name":"After the event - 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