\u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m fine. How are you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAll good.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How many times have you had that automatic, unthinking exchange this week? I\u2019m fine. All good. When maybe that isn\u2019t the full truth. When really it’s: \u201cI\u2019m feeling a bit overwhelmed because I\u2019m juggling all these things what with my deputy being on leave and my daughter starting at a new school, so today I feel like I\u2019m running just to keep up but then I remind myself that I\u2019ve got my health and things could be worse and really, none of it is life or death, so yeah. I\u2019m fine.\u201d That might be a bit much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The other woefully superficial response I notice is \u201cThanks, that was great.\u201d We even sign off our emails with that one word, \u201cThanks,\u201d when often there isn\u2019t really anything to thank anyone for, except perhaps the attention they might have given to our email. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, \u2018Thanks\u2019 becomes as meaningless as the \u2018How are you?\u2019 exchange. Which is a shame and a risk given just how much recognition and positive feedback matter to engagement, performance and improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What can we do instead?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83c\udf0d Expand. Instead of just \u201cThanks\u201d take the time to explain what it is you valued about what that person did or said, why that was important and what it showed you about who they are. So instead of \u201cThanks, that was a really helpful analysis\u201d it might be \u201cThanks for that analysis. I found it helpful because it went beyond what we usually look at and brought new data to the table. We\u2019ll make a better decision on the back of the work you did, and I can see it took extra effort. I appreciate the way you think differently about things and help me shift my perspective.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udcc6Make it a routine. Build in regular time for giving and receiving positive feedback. Not one of those rotten \u2018feedback sandwiches\u2019 that everyone can smell a mile off. Just pure (and detailed) gratitude with no ifs or buts. Get curious about what it was that made something \u2018thankable\u2019 to help your team unpack what they\u2019re doing when their best. What made that possible and how could we do more of it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc9dPractice on yourself. The benefits of a daily gratitude practice are well known. But how often do you list out the things that about you <\/em>that you’re thankful for. If saying a detailed thank you to yourself feels weird, you could try an evening practice of \u2018three things I\u2019m proud of myself for\u2019. Sometimes I do this as I\u2019m drifting off to sleep to help clear my mind of worries or to do lists. It makes for better dreams too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thanks for reading, I appreciate your attention and time. I know it\u2019s precious and I value that you chose to give 3 minutes of it to me.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How can we say thank you in ways that really matter? Expand what you say and do it more often for a start… <\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8364,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[8,12,50],"class_list":["post-8363","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-coaching","tag-feedback","tag-leadership-tips"],"yoast_head":"\n